girls – Girl Talks Racing

We Could Be Heroes

“When I was young, I wanted to become a doctor.”
“I wanted to become a teacher, just like my dad. That never happened though, haha!”
“You’re all so practical. I wanted to become a superhero. Pretty much like Superman.”
“Haha! Did you want to save people?”
“Nah. I just wanted a big red cape. It looked pretty cool on TV.”
“You’re weird… If I were to become a superhero, all I’d be interested in would be having some really cool superhero powers.”
“Such as?”
“As a child, I always wished I could fly.”
“I always really, really, really wanted to be able to do magic.”
“It was all about invisibility for me!”
“It’s funny, isn’t it? Children always want magical superpowers and when you grow up that just… disappears. Kind of.”
“Not for me. Not really. It just changed a bit. I still wish I had superpowers, even today. But now I wish I had the superpower of finishing all my paperwork on time, way before five o’clock, every single workday of the week. Then I’d never have to take it home with me ever again.”
“I’d never thought of that! That’d be cool. I would like to have that superpower too.”
“I know an even better one. I’d like to have a superpower that allows me to convince my boss to give me as many vacation days as I want. I’d only work one week a year. Maybe even less!”
“And we also need the superpower of making annoying colleagues disappear!”
“And the superpower of always maintaining enough air in the office for everyone to breathe, even on hot days! That’d be so awesome.”
“AND the superpower to take care of the garden in literally the blink of an eye. Just one blink and PRESTO. All done! Imagine all the extra free time we’ll get.”
“Haha! Can we also have a superpower that allows you to clean cars that way? My wife always make me do that on Sunday and I hate it. If I only had to blink once to clean it, I’d never have to get up again at seven. I’d be able to sleep in!”

*everybody looks at me*

“And what superpower would make your life easier?”
“Ehm… a superpower that allows me to look at a picture of the Nordschleife and instantly know what corner I’m looking at?”

The Grid Girl Garments

Last week I wrote a blog about grid girls. I fully expected to be lynched for it, as the few tweets I posted about grid girls in the past triggered rather extreme replies. However, even though the response to that blog was larger than usual, people on the whole were fairly positive about what I had to say. That has given me the courage to write this second blog about grid girls, to address the other thing about them that I dislike: their clothes.

Before the pitchforks come out, I should quickly say that I’m not writing this blog to criticise the design of the clothes the girls are given to wear. Okay, fine. I’ll admit that personally I see no appeal in girls (or, for that matter, men) who are clad in scantily-designed outfits that leave half their bodies uncovered, but I know everyone is different. Just because I personally would sooner buy a product when it’s promoted by a fluffy puppy than a fashion model, it doesn’t mean there aren’t people out there who prefer to see a model – and as long as that model is willing to do the job and is paid properly for doing it, there’s no reason these people shouldn’t get the visuals they want. Also, there undoubtedly are models who find wearing such outfits empowering. And if so, all power to them.

But what enrages me time and again, is that in motorsport grid girl/promo girl outfits are hardly ever matched with the weather. When an event organiser has decided that their girls should wear heels, a mini skirt and an upper-body garment that holds the middle ground between a tank top and a bra, that is exactly what they will wear. Even if the series races at a track like the Nürburgring, where it’s sometimes 5 degrees Celsius with a storm wind rolling in from the North East.

Too many times I’ve sat on a grandstand, wrapped in six layers of clothing and still freezing, while watching a grid full of girls who are braving the cold in their bare skin, with red knees, pale hands, frozen fingers, and blue lips. I know grid girls are paid a good salary for the work they do, but somehow I can’t imagine they knowingly sign up for such dreadful working conditions. Surely they expect better than that – and, moreover, deserve better than that?

I’ll never forget the pitwalk I did at Zandvoort a few years ago. It was below ten degrees and the sea wind was howling around the pit building. The promo girls that day were clad in cat suits so thin that I couldn’t just tell the form and model of their underpants, in one case I could even tell the colour. All of them were shivering like mad. As the pitwalk went on, the girls suffered more and more from hypothermia. After fifteen minutes one dropped the sign she was holding and walked away. Her neighbour decided on a different tactic. She turned to the mechanics in the garage behind her and begged them for a coat. Nobody even bothered to look up. So she turned to another garage for aid, but got the same response there. In the end one of the fans pulled a vest out of his bag and handed it to her. I’ve rarely seen such gratitude on a race track.

I know for a fact that I’m not the only one bothered by this mismatch of weather and clothing. Last year, while attending an event I won’t name here, I was walking through the paddock and came across a member of the organisation who was having a huge row with a furious woman. She was shouting abuse at the top of her lungs. “How dare you?! This is not what we signed up for! My girls are getting ill this way, IT’S FREEZING COLD! I will not stand for this! You either come up with decent clothes or we will never, EVER, work with you again! This is sick!!!” I don’t know who she was, but the girls who work for her should be proud to have someone like her fighting for their rights. I honestly hope that the woman made good on her threats too. Unless agencies stop accepting that their employees are made to work in tough weather conditions in unsuitable clothing, I fear the practice will continue for a long time to come.

The Grid Girl Comparison

Grid girls. A long time ago I made a conscious decision to avoid the topic of grid girls as much as possible on @girltalksracing. The reason is not that I’m oblivious to their presence, but because even the smallest comment about them usually evokes rather extreme commentary.

To give you an example, I was spending the weekend at a friend’s house once and she’s a motorbike fan so on Sunday morning we were watching a motorbike race. I can’t quite remember which one. MotoGP, I think. Anyhow, at some point I saw an umbrella girl that was rather minimally dressed. So I took a picture of the tv and in an attempt to be funny, I tweeted something along the lines of “fashion conundrum: can we still classify this outfit as ‘clothes’ or is this already in the ‘bikini’-range?” I didn’t realise until later that if you read that tweet in a particular way, it could be seen as having a critical undertone – although that was never my intention. Nonetheless, I’m not sure I deserved the barrage of ‘GRID GIRLS MUST STAY’, ‘KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OUR TRADITION’ and ‘YOU ******* FEMINIST’ that I received.

After all, never in all the time that I’ve been running @girltalksracing have I called for the tradition to be abolished.

If you were wondering why that line is standing on its own: that’s in case I’ve re-enraged some people by mentioning that old tweet. Maybe the counter-comment’ll stand out more that way. But where was I? Ah yes, the tradition of grid girls. I’ve never asked for the tradition to be abolished, because I know it’s tied in with the sport’s history and I can respect it if people wish to maintain the girls for that reason. That doesn’t mean, however, that I’ve never had any struggles with the grid girl phenomenon…

The grid girls often represent (Western) society’s underlying ideals of femininity: beautiful, professional hairdo, perfect make up, prominent cleavage, high heels, dressed provocatively, quiet, smiling, and decorative. These are ideals I’m not able to live up to, not even on the best of my days, let alone on a race track. My hair is usually one big wind-caused explosion, I’ve never worn make up in my life, I’ll never be more than an A-Cup, I’ve a problem with my feet so I wear flat shoes only, I’m usually dressed to withstand -45 degrees and snow (aka I look like an eskimo), I’m probably not quiet, I only smile when my favourite drivers do well, and on the whole I’m nowhere near decorative. And you know: that’s okay. If people think that makes me unattractive, they are free to think so.

But somehow there’s something about grid girls that gives a certain type of person the feeling they can suddenly say their thoughts out loud. Too often I’ve heard groups of bystanders comparing grid girls to each other, choosing the one that has the best ‘assets’. I’ve also heard unknown people compare me to grid girls. The low-point example of that is definitely the time at a VLN race that I was sitting on my own on a grandstand and a man some distance off suddenly yelled: “HEY! THE BOOBS OF THE GRID GIRL AT *TEAMNAMEICANTREMEMBER* ARE MUCH BIGGER THAN YOURS!” Yes, well. Thanks for demonstrating your comparison skills?

I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I don’t mind if race track visitors look at grid girls. They choose to be grid girls and they receive a good salary to be eye candy. But at the same time I wish that everyone would remember that they represent social beauty ideals – and in the real world no woman, not even a grid girl, can be 100% perfect and ideal all the time. So please don’t pass judgment when you see discrepancies. It’s quite simply unkind.

And if saying that makes me a ‘******* feminist’, then: guilty as charged.

A Pirate Code for Race Fans

I’ve been a race fan for most of my life. I’m proud of that and I strongly feel the motorsport fan community has a good thing going. In all the years I’ve followed the sport I’ve never encountered a motorsport hooligan; and up until this day I’ve never had any of my belongings stolen at a race track. *knocks on wood* I also like that the fan community feels like a big family, especially when it’s cold and rainy and you’re all together huddled beneath a grandstand to wait out a weather-induced red flag.

However, human beings are never perfect and neither is the motorsport fan community. I’ve encountered situations over the years that left me thinking: “Is this really necessary?” One of the most poignant happened last weekend, during the final hour of the 24 Hours of Spa. A rain shower had unexpectedly hit the track and was causing chaos. Cars on slicks were sliding off the asphalt left, right, and centre. At some point it became evident that the utterly out-of-control Konrad Lamborghini was going to hit the beached Black Falcon #57. Several seconds before it happened many people on my grandstand were already cheering and when the crash finally took place they screamed their lungs out and even danced. Seeing as the crash was big enough to hurt someone, I found this rather appalling behaviour.

The incident left me rueing the fact that there is no Code of Conduct for Race Fans, a bit like the Pirate Code featured in Pirates of the Caribbean. I know the rules in that code are “more like guidelines” than actual laws, but to me the codex always seemed a neat thing to have. So on the way home last Sunday night I came up with a list of ten rules that I think race fans should follow to make the fan community even better. No doubt there’ll be people who disagree with these rules, but that’s the beauty of democracy, isn’t it? Anyways, here are my ten cents.

At a track you’ll be surrounded by a myriad of people who support different teams and/or drivers than you do. Accept this. Don’t pick fights with them or yell things at them.
Never boo a driver/team who makes a public appearance in the fan area or the pitlane. It’s insulting and they won’t be able to defend themselves against a crowd.
Never boo a driver/team who stands on the podium. This is possibly even more insulting than 2, because not only are they unable to defend themselves against a crowd, they can’t even leave the podium if they wanted to.
Never cheer when you see a crash, regardless of who is in the car or what you think of them. Accidents are part of this sport, but they’re also what makes this sport dangerous. Even if the cars are safer than ever now, even the most innocent-looking crash can still kill a driver. So if you must cheer, do so when the crashed driver gets out of the car unharmed.
If a sign says “team personnel only”, don’t try to sneak in regardless. This’ll only put teams on their guard and ultimately make them more strict.
Similarly, don’t try to sneak into a pitlane or onto a race grid when you have no permission to be there. This’ll only make organisers more strict and less likely to organise pit/gridwalks.
Never insult track marshalls. They may not always be perfect. They may not always be right. They may sometimes tell you to get out of an area where you’re allowed to be. But always remember that without them there would be no racing at all. Reason with them if you must or find a second marshall to prove the first one wrong, but don’t call them names.
Treat grid/promo girls with respect. It’s hard for me to understand why they evoke the responses in male fans that they do, as I see no appeal in the presence of scantily-clad women (or scantily clad men, for that matter) on a race track. But if you’re inclined to look at them, please treat them as you would any other woman. Don’t stand in front of them and loudly comment on who is prettiest/ugliest. Don’t take pictures up their skirts. Don’t touch them unless they’ve given you permission.
Don’t compare a female driver with a grid or promo girl. This is the 21st century. Girls are capable of fulfilling any role in motorsport that they want and there’s no need to revert them to the role they played historically.
Obviously 9 also goes for female team managers, engineers, mechanics, communication employees, catering workers, etc.

Say ‘Maybe Yes’ to the Dress

“That’s an interesting dress.”
“I like it. That flower pattern’s nice.”
“I’m not sure. It is a bit crowded.”
“Really? Why?”
“Well, the leaves are rather big – and a very bright shade of green. In combination with one, two, three… four different colours of roses, it might be a bit much. You’d have to be very careful with the accessories if you wear a dress like this.”
“Accessories? You mean bracelets and stuff?”
“Yes.”
“I never wear many anyways. I used to have this beaded bracelet, but it got caught on the door handle. I swear, the beads were literally everywhere. Never buy bracelets like that.”
“Beads wouldn’t do well with this dress anyway. You need something classy. Silver maybe.”
“I might have something like that. I’d have to check.”
“And what shoes would you wear with this?!”
“I’ve got some white ballerinas. They might do.”
“Mmm. I think heels would be better. White ones. Or green, to match those flowers.”
“I can’t walk in heels! I’d have an ankle injury before I’d even reach the kitchen!”
“Yes, but that’s you. I can walk in heels.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot you had that superpower.”
“Haha, it just takes practice.”
“Then I refuse any form of practice. Flat shoes for the win.”
“Well, I still think this dress would look pretty with heels.”
“Pretty? I thought you said you didn’t like it.”
“No, I didn’t! I said you’d have to be careful with how finish it off.”
“I’ll tell you what. You do NOT finish it off well with a Sauber. Those roses clash dramatically with the blue-yellow of that livery.”
“Oh, definitely. If you work for Sauber, you can NOT wear that dress. It would be a crime to combine the two. If that ever happens, I insist the team is disqualified from the championship for crimes committed against eye sight.”

At this point it might be a useful to mention that this conversation took place while a friend and I were browsing the formula 1-section of a motorsport website (which was full of Sauber pictures), when suddenly Google Ads decided to insert a picture of a dress as a personalised advertisement. When you’re me, that happens. Surprisingly often too, if you must know.