Spa 24h – Girl Talks Racing

Unbelievable

I spend a good proportion of my free weekends running around race tracks, merrily tweeting about my adventures. But don’t get me wrong, I don’t simply sling everything that happens onto social media. I apply a light form of censure: I try not to post messages that lose their appropriate context when you reduce them to 140 characters and become ambiguous – or simply incomprehensible. I also deliberately don’t write about things that are so utterly ridiculous that, if I were to strip them of their details and turn them into an ultrashort tweet, readers probably wouldn’t believe they had actually happened. I was talking this practice over with a friend last week and she said it was a shame that my most bonkers stories never make it onto the web. Initially I disagreed with her, but today I’m wondering if the odd events that don’t work as tweets could perhaps work as a blog post, since a blog allows room for contextualisation. Maybe that concept is worth a test run. So I hereby present…

The Top Three of Odd Things That Really Happened in 2016 But Seemed Too Improbable When Written Down in 140 Characters!

3. Size Matters
In the spring I attended the Blancpain GT Sprint Cup at the Nürburgring. That weekend, the Sprint Cup was a support series for the Truck GP. I’d never before seen a truck race and I’d definitely never shared a race track with truck fans. I wasn’t worried about it though. What could possibly happen? It’s not as if truck racing is a big deal or anything, right? WRONG. Truck racing is HUGE. It attracts thousands of super-enthusiastic fans, who outnumbered the GT fans by far all throughout the weekend and at times made me feel a bit isolated, because they had their own fan culture which I didn’t truly understand. However, it turned out that this was a mutual sentiment. When the Blancpain GT cars first hit the track on Saturday morning, immediately after the truck practice had finished, I overheard one of the truck fans saying: “Aaaaaw, look how cute! Aren’t those GT cars SMALL?!”

2. My Little Pony Rocks
During one of the VLN races, my dad and I shared a row of chairs on one of the grandstands with another father and daughter. The two dads quickly got talking about photography and that left me with the other daughter – which was slightly problematic as she was three years old and I’m absolutely horrible with toddlers. So we ended up staring at each other uncomfortably, until I decided to point out the girl’s My Little Pony vest. “That’s cool!” I said. Just then a grumpy man walked passed us, muttering that it was not cool, just “something stupid for kids”. In a reflex I unzipped my backpack and pulled out my My Little Pony travel wallet. I waved it defiantly at the man, who shrugged his shoulders and walked on. Obviously furious, the little girl then climbed on her chair and… flipped the tiniest bird ever to be flipped at a race track, right at the grumpy man’s back. I’m still disappointed he didn’t see it! (And also relieved the fathers didn’t see it either. I probably would’ve gotten blamed.)

1. Head to Head
I have an annoying habit of typing my tweets while walking. It’s not difficult to do, not even in a paddock, as long as you keep a wary eye on what’s beside and in front of you. You don’t want to be hit by a race car, after all. Over the past seasons I’ve pretty much perfected the technique and I never run into trouble. Well, never? Once. Last May, during the 24 Hours of Spa-weekend, I literally ran into trouble when trouble didn’t come from the side or the front (where I was watching!), but from above. I was walking and tweeting along a support series pre grid, which was located in the paddock at the foot of Eau Rouge, being perfectly aware of the exact locations of all the cars and moving engineers to my left, right and front. Unfortunately, I was also perfectly oblivious to the push-out extension of the Garage 59 team truck that was hanging level with my forehead. I walked into it with a surprisingly loud BANG, almost fell backwards due to the backlash, and saw stars for a few seconds. The moment I regained my bearings, I felt embarrassed. I was surrounded by at least 100 people. How stupid an idiot would they think I was?! And that’s when I realised. Despite the bang, the show and the drama, nobody was looking in my direction. Nobody was pointing at me. Nobody was even laughing. They were all so interested in the pre grid, THAT NOBODY HAD NOTICED. The relief I felt was enormous. (FYI: so was the bump on my forehead.)

A Pirate Code for Race Fans

I’ve been a race fan for most of my life. I’m proud of that and I strongly feel the motorsport fan community has a good thing going. In all the years I’ve followed the sport I’ve never encountered a motorsport hooligan; and up until this day I’ve never had any of my belongings stolen at a race track. *knocks on wood* I also like that the fan community feels like a big family, especially when it’s cold and rainy and you’re all together huddled beneath a grandstand to wait out a weather-induced red flag.

However, human beings are never perfect and neither is the motorsport fan community. I’ve encountered situations over the years that left me thinking: “Is this really necessary?” One of the most poignant happened last weekend, during the final hour of the 24 Hours of Spa. A rain shower had unexpectedly hit the track and was causing chaos. Cars on slicks were sliding off the asphalt left, right, and centre. At some point it became evident that the utterly out-of-control Konrad Lamborghini was going to hit the beached Black Falcon #57. Several seconds before it happened many people on my grandstand were already cheering and when the crash finally took place they screamed their lungs out and even danced. Seeing as the crash was big enough to hurt someone, I found this rather appalling behaviour.

The incident left me rueing the fact that there is no Code of Conduct for Race Fans, a bit like the Pirate Code featured in Pirates of the Caribbean. I know the rules in that code are “more like guidelines” than actual laws, but to me the codex always seemed a neat thing to have. So on the way home last Sunday night I came up with a list of ten rules that I think race fans should follow to make the fan community even better. No doubt there’ll be people who disagree with these rules, but that’s the beauty of democracy, isn’t it? Anyways, here are my ten cents.

At a track you’ll be surrounded by a myriad of people who support different teams and/or drivers than you do. Accept this. Don’t pick fights with them or yell things at them.
Never boo a driver/team who makes a public appearance in the fan area or the pitlane. It’s insulting and they won’t be able to defend themselves against a crowd.
Never boo a driver/team who stands on the podium. This is possibly even more insulting than 2, because not only are they unable to defend themselves against a crowd, they can’t even leave the podium if they wanted to.
Never cheer when you see a crash, regardless of who is in the car or what you think of them. Accidents are part of this sport, but they’re also what makes this sport dangerous. Even if the cars are safer than ever now, even the most innocent-looking crash can still kill a driver. So if you must cheer, do so when the crashed driver gets out of the car unharmed.
If a sign says “team personnel only”, don’t try to sneak in regardless. This’ll only put teams on their guard and ultimately make them more strict.
Similarly, don’t try to sneak into a pitlane or onto a race grid when you have no permission to be there. This’ll only make organisers more strict and less likely to organise pit/gridwalks.
Never insult track marshalls. They may not always be perfect. They may not always be right. They may sometimes tell you to get out of an area where you’re allowed to be. But always remember that without them there would be no racing at all. Reason with them if you must or find a second marshall to prove the first one wrong, but don’t call them names.
Treat grid/promo girls with respect. It’s hard for me to understand why they evoke the responses in male fans that they do, as I see no appeal in the presence of scantily-clad women (or scantily clad men, for that matter) on a race track. But if you’re inclined to look at them, please treat them as you would any other woman. Don’t stand in front of them and loudly comment on who is prettiest/ugliest. Don’t take pictures up their skirts. Don’t touch them unless they’ve given you permission.
Don’t compare a female driver with a grid or promo girl. This is the 21st century. Girls are capable of fulfilling any role in motorsport that they want and there’s no need to revert them to the role they played historically.
Obviously 9 also goes for female team managers, engineers, mechanics, communication employees, catering workers, etc.

No Pressure

Dear 24 Hours of Spa,

How are you doing? I’m fine and I hope you are too. I know we haven’t spoken in a while. It must have been about a year. I guess the silence has been mostly my fault. I wasn’t very nice to you in 2015, when it rained heavily during all the days of your event. I can particularly remember the Saturday. By the time I got back to the hotel, my socks were soaked, there was a centimetre of water in my backpack, and even my skin was wet. I know I used some very choice words then, especially as I was wringing out my backpack, but I hope you know I didn’t mean them. I was just very tired. That was all. I swear!

Right now it’s my biggest wish that things between us can go back to how they were before. Not just because I genuinely want to rekindle our friendship, but also because I need your help. (And when I say ‘I’, I technically mean ‘me and all endurance fans everywhere’). You see, it’s been a tough season for 24-hour racing.

At the 24 Hours of the Nürburgring, the weather was deplorable. Hail balls cannoned from the skies; and at one point there was even snow! But the real hitch of the event was the finish. Some fifteen minutes before the end of the race various strange things happened within the Mercedes camp, which lead to the two frontrunners switching places on the last lap and the eventual number two-finishers accusing the winners of ignoring team orders and claiming they’d been robbed off the victory. One of the drivers of the number two-car even refused to go on the podium and only one of them showed up for the press conference. The mud-throwing went on for days afterwards, tainting the entire race.

At the 24 Hours of Le Mans, the finish wasn’t a much more cheerful affair. Toyota had looked set to claim their first victory – at last, after all those decades of trying! – but a lousy three minutes before the clock hit zero their car broke down. The looks of the Toyota crew as they were watching it happen on tv were heart-breaking, especially if you know that this wasn’t the first time this happened to them. (In 1994 a transmission problem ended their victory dreams 90 minutes before the finish.) I’m one of those nerds who frequently cries at the end of a 24-hour race, but I swear this is the one and only time I cried for sheer sadness.

And all that, my dearest 24 Hours of Spa, is what brings me to you. You’re the only remaining European around-the-clock endurance race left in 2016. After the anger of the Nürburgring and the heartache of Le Mans, my fellow race fans and I could honestly do with a dose of proper racing topped off with some no-nonsense, unmitigated happiness at the finish line. I know the proper racing-bit probably won’t be too difficult for you. However, I am hereby officially begging you: please try – really try – to give us a nice finish, without fights, without heart-rending drama, and with a winning car that has deserved the victory without a single doubt. I don’t want to put pressure on you, but me and the other endurance fans around the world are putting all our hopes on you. Please, please make it work. Please?

Kind regards,

Girl Talks Racing